P S, I'm Broken
by adii1201
Summary: Lynette finds out she's pregnant. It's a long one shot, my version of how things went regardless of what really happened on the show


**Disclaimer:** What can I say? I don't own it.

**A/N:** Alright so I wrote this as a one shot and I'll post it as one even though it's kinda long. Anyway, I wrote it before watching 5x24 so, well, this is kinda how I pictured it, you know me and my crazy mind. Hmm the end's sad but well, I love sad. So I hope you'll like it, but I'd love to hear what you think!

_P.S, I'm Broken_

"_It's cancer again isn't it?"_ Lynette asked, afraid to hear the answer

"_You had cancer?"_ the doctor asked her.

"_Yes. 6 years ago. Is it back?"_

"_No. I want to run some more tests but according to this one it's not back."_ The doctor answered as Lynette sighed in relief.

"_Then what is it?"_ She asked

"_You're pregnant"_

"_I'm WHAT?"_ Lynette asked, shocked by these news.

"_6 weeks. You didn't know?"_

"_NO! I'm going to kill him!" _Lynette snapped.

She left the doctor's office not even hearing what she had to say. She was so upset and she just had to go home.

"_TOM!"_ she yelled as she entered their home.

"_Upstairs. I'll be down in a sec"_

"_Where are the kids?"_

"_Not home yet"_ He said as he came down the stairs.

"_Hi"_ he said as he came closer to give her a quick kiss. She pushed him away, being so angry with him.

"_What the… What's wrong?"_ He asked, surprised by her actions.

"_I'm pregnant you idiot! I wanna kill you!"_ she screamed at him. He knew the last thing she wanted was another child but he never saw her that angry.

"_How…?"_ He asked her

"_The time at the office… You were so horny you forgot and I was busy with Carlos on the phone"_

"_You're not on the pill?"_

"_No you idiot! I'm not allowed to take them since the cancer!"_ She was crying by now, so angry and afraid.

"_Ho crap! I'm so sorry!"_

"_You should be. I'm 43! I can finally have time for myself but not anymore. And of course I have to stop working again and be home with a baby. I can't believe you did this to me again!"_

"_Lynette I'm so sorry! I don't know what more to say…"_

She sat down on the sofa, holding her head in her hands. He came to her and rested his arm on her back. She looked at him and he pulled her to his embrace.

"_What do you want to do?"_ he asked, knowing she'll understand what he means.

"_I'm not having an abortion. I can't. It's our child… But I don't know if I can deal with it again"_

"_I'm going to be here for you, I'll help you!"_

"_One of us has to work, Tom. And it's going to be you again, at least at the beginning."_

He was about to answer when the phone rang.

"_Hello"_ Tom answered.

"_Hello I'm looking for Lynette Scavo. It's Dr. Bell"_

"_Yes here she is"_ Tom said and handed the phone to Lynette.

"_Yes. I understand, Ok yes. Thanks Dr. Bell"_ she hung up the phone.

"_What did she want"_ Tom asked her seeing the change in her face after the call.

"_I left in a rush and she wanted to talk to me about all the risks. She said it's important and urgent due to my age. I have to go see her now" _

[…]

"_Hi Lynette" _Dr. Bell welcomed them into her office.

"_I'm sorry I left so fast before. I was a bit freaked out from what you told me" _Lynette said embarrassed.

"_I can understand." _She said, smiling. _"Lynette I wanted to see you because I have to tell you about all the complications that can happen during this pregnancy and let you make a choice if you want to keep it or not" _

"_I'm guessing since I'm 43 the risks are much higher right?"_ Lynette asked.

"_Yes. The main problem with pregnancy in your age is that there is danger both to you and to the baby. The chances of having spontaneous abortion up 'til the 20__th__ week of the pregnancy stands on 90% with women your age. The death of the fetus in your age, after the 20__th__ week, is 0.4% more than before. You can have diabetes and toxemia and the worst case scenario is that you can die during the pregnancy and during the birth itself."_

Lynette and Tom both sat and listened to what the doctor said. The question whether she should have an abortion or not was answered, only, Tom's answer was definitely yes while Lynette's was simply no.

[…]

(Later that day in their home)

"_Lynette?"_

"_Hmm?"_ She asked, obviously busy thinking.

"_What are you going to do?"_ Tom asked, worried

"_About…?"_

"_The baby"_

"_I'm keeping it. Did you think otherwise?"_

"_Well yes! The doctor said you can die! I don't want you to keep this pregnancy! I can't risk losing you"_ he said, frustrated because he thought there was only one answer to his question.

"_Tom, don't make me do it. I can't have an abortion! I won't be able to live with myself if I do… I love you and I can't live without you but if you love me don't make me do this"_ she said looking at him with tears in her eyes. She saw he was scared of losing her but she couldn't kill her own child even if it meant putting her life on the line.

"_Lynette come on you're not being rational" _Tom said, trying to make her change her mind.

"_Yes I am! Think about it like this: what if I'd ask you to kill one of the boys? Or Penny?"_

"_That's not that same and you know it! This baby is not even a baby yet! And you're here and alive and you're risking your life for something that might die eventually!" _He said, angry.

"_Tom, come on! I know you're afraid and I am too but I'm not having an abortion! Not as long as there's a chance we'll be fine"_

After a moment of silence she added _"please don't make me. It's hard enough dealing with this I need your support"_

"_No Lynette. You're asking me to support your decision to risk your life and I can't"_

"_Tom I'm asking you to support my decision to not kill our baby. I promise that if I'll have no other choice then I'll go with the abortion but so far I'm fine and so is the baby. Please, Tom…" _She cried, longing for his embrace.

"_(Sighs) Ok. But if you'll be in danger I'm not considering your opinion and you will have the abortion"_

"_Ok" _she said, smiling softly.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. She needed to feel his touch, to know that he's there with her in the nightmare.

[…]

It's been a year since she gave birth to a still born. It was a beautiful girl. Tom finally got the Pamela he wanted. They were so happy and everything was going like it should be but then she got into labor and the next thing she knew, she was waking up from surgery with Tom next to her telling her they lost their baby and almost lost her too.

It's been a year since then and she still couldn't move on. She was suppose to hold her baby girl in her arms now but instead she was sitting on the grass looking at the grave stone _"Pamela"_ it said. They couldn't write anything more since she never even lived.

She sat there for hours, crying so hard, whishing she could've saved her, that she could've change what happened. But she knew she couldn't.

Tom knew she was there. She went to her grave every day since she died. He tried so hard to give her privacy and not to push her but he just wanted to be there for her. He went over to her and gave her his hand, helping her to stand up. She looked at him with broken eyes and he just wrapped his arms around her, holding on to what was left of her. She was broken and for the first time ever, he couldn't fix it.


End file.
